Kyle Bauer-Real Deal on Sports 88.3fm WXOU

The Phillies just cost the Tigers five games and saved them five million

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on December 4, 2009

By Kyle Bauer

I feel as though I was just dumped out of a long-term relationship. Placido Polanco broke my heart.

Sometimes you can’t blame your significant other for pulling the plug, just as you cant blame your favorite hometown athlete for taking more money. This was the instance for Polanco, who I cannot blame in the least. The best the Tigers could had given him was a one or two-year deal for 12 million at the most. Also consider that the Tigers would want that second year to be an option. Why would Polanco take that, when he knows he could doop the market and demand three to five years.

This is a double-edged sword for the Tigers. It is a benefit that they will not have to take on more dead money. A new contract for Polanco would likely become an albatross after 2011. Of course time will tell. Polanco has had many injury problems that he has played through though. Mainly his back. That wears on an athlete over time, especially when swinging a bat.

The other side of the argument, is that Polanco keeps the Tigers competitive for another year. With Polly, I think Detroit hangs in the division race for majority of the season. Going up against Chicago and Minnesota’s rotation, they will need batters who can work counts and wear down pitchers. This has always been an issue for the Tigers and now the player who best worked counts is gone. Polanco is also your best clutch hitter. Magglio, Cabrera and Guillen can work counts via drawing walks and getting big hits but not to the consistency of Polanco. Those three were set up by and fed off of him.

Scott Sizemore, who will be the replacement, is already fighting through an ankle injury. He is projected to be a power-hitting, strike out machine with few intangibles, similar to oooooohhhhh hmmmm?…..all the other Tigers position player prospects!

For the money, I understand why the Tigers conceded immediately. I still would had appreciated if they had at least received a draft pick through attempting to offer arbitration.

Bye, Polly. You were “my Tiger.” I could always say that we had a player who we traded a convict for. All those times you drove a two-run double down the third base line, down by a run, with two outs in the 8th. The image of you jumping up and down, rounding third base, with that silly hood thingy on under your helmet, in game four of the ALCS, will always be burned in my mind. To me, your absence marks the official beginning of the end, for the Tigers five-year run of not being that bad of a franchise. You were one of the men who made baseball fun in this town again.

You will be missed.


A 3 day man fest! Or rather fest for men! Pt. 3 of 3 (the manifestation)

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on November 27, 2009

Having a Facebook on the morning of Black Friday is hilarious. Everyone seems to be out shopping and selling out their integrity. I’m not one of those ‘communist’ that are suggesting not shopping on Black Friday to STOP CONSUMERISM! Fuck no. Go pump some money into the economy, just carry yourself with some grace and tact while doing so.

I have found over the past couple years that you get just as good, if not better deals, in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. The malls and retail giants are empty because everyone is saving up their money and energy for Black Friday. It is a great strategy. Not to brag too much, I’m just saying, I freaking cleaned out Best Buy last week and everything was at least 30% off. I saved well over 100 dollars.

Okay, I’m off my soapbox. Now it is time to actually talk about the beauty of Black Friday. Not the shopping, I am talking about college football, decorating and leftovers.

Today is the single best college football day of the year. Narrow minded thinkers will tell you that it is New Year’s Day, no it is definitely today. Currently on ABC uhhhh ehem ESPN on ABC, Illinois is taking on Cincinnati. In my opinion, the Bearcats are the most exciting team in the country. My love for Brain Kelly is borderline creeperish.

At 230 on CBS, IT’S THE FUCKING IRON BOWL. I love SEC football as much as the next educated football fan and this game is usually the crown jewel of the league. Yeah there is the ‘Worlds Largest Cocktail Party’, and usually whenever LSU is playing, but to me Alabama vs. Auburn is where it’s at. I believe both teams have the craziest fans in the country. Remember Alabama packed in 94,000 for Sabans first spring workouts and Gene Chizik was almost ‘eliminated’ by Auburn fans before he could get off the plane.  Sure Ohio State fan likes to burn down Columbus when the Buckeyes play in a major game, and Florida shuts down their campus for two weeks when the Gators play in the National Championship, but no other fan bases can touch the insanity of Alabama and Auburn. When the Iron Bowl kicks off, these two worlds collide. Saying that, ‘bama will win by 24.

Tonight at 730 on ESPN 2, Pitt is traveling to Morgan Town to take on West Virginia.  Somehow Pitt does what they are doing now, almost every year. They play a relatively soft schedule and are able to climb their way into Big East title contention.

Dave Wannstedt bothers me, as avid listeners of the show know. He looks like the biggest slime bag in the world and no I will not apologize for judging a book by its cover. That mustache and hair combination makes him look like he spends his afternoon in the strip club eating cheap steak and getting lap dances from Community College Freshmen. Once a month, he’ll spend an afternoon with his daughter because the divorce settlement forces him to. He picks her up in his Trans-Am, asks her how school is going, she is understandably mum. Then the ‘stache takes her to Dairy Queen. Everything is going great until he spills his dippy cone on his Hawaiian shirt. In a fit of rage, he tells his daughter that shes a slut, and her mother doesnt love her, thats why they got divorced. She is in tears as he drops her of 15 minutes later. But yeah, that is all conjecture. I dont know him at all. But that is what I imagine a Tuesday afternoon in Dave Wannstedts world being like.

Finally tonight at 10 on ESPN, Nevada goes into Boise St. to play the Broncos on the Smurf Turf. This would be a really good game if it were in Nevada. The Wolf Pack have a great running game, that could allow them to control the clock and keep the Broncos off the field. But it is in Boise and that blue turf wins them games. It will still be fun to watch.

That is just the top 25 schedule. Dont forget about Colorado vs. Nebraska at 330 on ABC. While both programs have had a horrible decade, I still live for this game. Many of the games in the 90’s were extremely close. They usually were high scoring and went down to the final minute. The game that still makes me smile today, was when Colorado destroyed Nebraska in Lincoln, 62 to 36 in 2001. While all-time, the series hasnt been close with Nebraska dominating the series 46-17-2, still the games are usually fun to watch and I can always root for the Buffs to stun Nebraska.

Most MAC teams are in action today, including Central as they are currently taking on Northern Illinois.

This is an incredible day of college football. But back in the day it used to be even better. I remember the pleasure I would get in waking up to Texas A&M vs. Texas. At 11 am, I would be in front of my TV with my left over pie for breakfast. In fondly remember in 1998 when Ricky Williams smoked the college rushing record. He did it in the morning. College Football in the morning was so beautiful and now it has been stripped away from me. Yeah they still have a game on at noon, only an hour difference, but that is the longest hour ever.

Today is a day to enjoy leftovers. I would rather it be called “Leftover Day” than Black Friday. I have my leftover sandwich that I usually enjoy in the Nebraska-Colorado game. As I have found out, many other people have variations of a leftover sandwich. That bummed me out. I really thought I was on to something. But for the record, here is my version:

Turkey (white or dark, maybe both, your preference.)

Mashed Potatoes on top of the turkey



Sweet Potato

on Rye Bread for me, but once again, go with a bread of your preference.

The sweet flavors of the cranberries and sweet potato meld well with savory goods of turkey,mashed potato and stuffing. Kinda like the sweet and salty combination of dipping your fries in your Frosty. It is a lot, but trust me, this version will do the job.

Right now as I’m typing this, I am at my girlfriends house. Her family is up stairs listening to Christmas music and decorating their tree. Im glad the Cincy has already disposed of Illinois, so I wont have any sports fan guilt, going up there to join them. There is nothing better than decorating to me. I am an absolute kid with it. As hokey as it is, I want to drown in Christmas at this time of year. Every where I go, I want to see red and green, and blue for my Jewish friends. Although I am not opposed to blue Christmas lights for the record.

Unfortunately, I still do live with my parents. This is even more unfortunate this year because my mom wants to move our Christmas tree out of the living room. We have had it there since I was born. After 22 years, she demands on moving it because suddenly the room is too small for it. Like a Chinamen standing up to an army of tanks, I will stand up to my mom wanting to move the Christmas tree. I am set in my ways, come December 25th at 8 am, I will be exchanging presents underneath my tree IN THE LIVING ROOM.

Why am I telling you guys this? Because we all have Holiday traditions we hold on to. For me, that starts today. Another reason why Thanksgiving is the best.

A 3 day man fest! Or rather fest for men! Pt. 2 of 3

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on November 26, 2009

Today is part 2 of this 3 part blog celebrating the marriage of sports and Thanksgiving. Today of course is the big day and right now as I’m typing this, the Lions are being destroyed again. At the end of the third quarter, the Lions are down 27 to 7. Pathetic. Glad to see our hero, Matt Stafford is in the midst of another affirming performance. Sorry folks, unfortunately for both you the fan, and Stafford, the Lions can’t play the Browns every week.

Part of me says that this game should be taken away from the Lions, at least for the time being. Still this game does pull decent ratings and advertisers are all over it. There are so many bad franchises in the NFL, I am actually starting to think that it would be pointless for the league to give the game to another team not named the Colts or Patriots. Even then, these franchises in time will go through a dark period. But remember, no franchise in professional sports has ever and likely never will ever go through a stretch this bad. The argument of taking away this game to me falls into if the NFL should pay some retribution to the Lions for giving the country so many awful games these past five years.

Oh geez, wait, what am I talking about? “THE LIONS ALWAYS WIN ON THANKSGIVING!!!!”


So yeah, I’m being repetitive.

There have been some great moments in the past 20 years for the Lions on Thanksgiving. Of course I think about the glory days in the 90’s when I say this.

—Wait… cut in (mind you I am watching the game right now)….how the fuck does Schwartz not rush the extra point unit out there immediately?! It’s obvious that if it’s remotely close McCarthy is going to challenge so get the fucking play off!!!!! I know it is cool to let Dizon celebrate because he’ll be out of the league at this time next year but be fucking responsible. Horrible coaching by Schwartz……It wont matter anyway.—–

But i think about when Barry dominated the Bears in ’97 and the Lions put up 55 on them. Dre Bly making Favre look like a fool, picking him off twice in 2003 (the Lions last win on Thanksgiving). In 1999, when Johnnie Morton and Charlie Batch combined to go off on the Bears and at the time take the lead in the NFC Central. Of course there was 1998 with the famous coin flip call by Phil Luckett.

I also like to think about a game that most people over look in recent Lions Thanksgiving Day lore. In 2000, the Lions destroyed the Patroits 34 to 9. There is a lot of symbolism in this game. Think about what happened to the Lions since 2000 and what happened to the Patroits. These teams obviously went in polar opposite directions. Most notable about that game wasnt the 101 yard interception return by Bryant Westbrook but it was that Tom Brady made his NFL debut in this game relieving Drew Bledsoe.

—Hey to interrupt again, do you all think Charles Woodson is a future Hall of Famer? I think he is—-

Here are a few other personal thoughts about Thanksgiving.

The Cowboys game will be brutal, as have the Cowboys made it brutal for the opposing team on Thanksgiving as of late. The Raiders will be tough to watch, even though they seem to find a way to win games, with three so far.

NFL Network picking up a game at 8 was an attempt to appease all the folks calling for the Lions to lose their priviledge. This game has always ended up representing defenders of the Lions point. These games have been brutal. With the direction that both Denver and the Giants are moving in, this will be brutal again.

I cannot stand people who call it “Turkey Day.” Fuck you, it is Thanksgiving. It always has been Thanksgiving.

On Thanksgiving, I take pleasure in “lapping the field.” I am always first in line for food (the Bauer’s do it buffet style) and I finish my first serving and am back up for seconds before most people get their food. Am I an asshole for this? Of course. Do I take pride in this? Of course.

Finally, I seen one of the first signs of the Holiday season during the game today. I love the Budweiser Clydesdales. Their classic Holiday commercial, which hasnt changed in at least 20 years, I will argue stands up against of their annual Superbowl ads.

I always get goosebumps when I watch this. Dorky, I know.

Rejoin me tomorrow for part 3, in which I will talk about my left over sandwich, decorating, and Colorado beating Nebraska and how it always makes me laugh.

A three day man fest! Or rather fest for men! Pt. 1 of 3

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on November 25, 2009

By Kyle Bauer

Yeah, Christmas is freaking awesome. I love presents, and I mean I really love giving and receiving. So much so that I dont still dont sleep on Christmas Eve. I know being 22 years old, thats not the proudest thing to admit, but then again why should I be ashamed? I STILL LOVE CHRISTMAS, I STILL LOVE THE HOLIDAYS! Forgive me for my childish excitement. But for the cookies which I still demand my poor mother make every Christmas Eve, watching a Christmas Story and now Bad Santa (my new addition to list of dorky x-mas traditions), and waking up at 8 am to open presents, is something I can’t deny and likely wont change soon. I will be pushing my kids out from underneath the tree to unwrap my gifts. Dont get me wrong, I also cannot wait to see the looks on peoples faces when I give them gifts.

Digest that paragraph. I think I gave you an idea of just how much I love Christmas. That paragraph could had been wiped with the first line, but I wanted to make a point of emphasis. But as much as I love Christmas, I love Thanksgiving even more.

Why?……SPORTS, THATS WHY!!!!!!!!!

The night before Thanksgiving in Detroit has always meant a few things to me. Bar night in Neal Ruhl’s favorite city, Royal Oak, and there will be a game in Joe Louis Arena and a game at the Palace of Auburn Hills.

The Pistons have played at home, the night before Thanksgiving every year since 2005, going 4-0. They have played on Thanksgiving Eve every year this decade, going 5-4, losing all four on the road.

I have attended a couple of these games in the past. Against Atlanta in 2006 and New York in 2007. It was certainly a good time. My friends and I were considering making it an annual thing, but last year we all had prior engagements. This year, we initially balked at tickets and with the game being against the Cavs, all the affordable tickets have long been sold out.

The Red Wings tradition of Pre-Thanksgiving at home goes a little deeper than the Pistons. All but one season since 1995, has seen a game in Joe Louis Arena on this (what should be) Holiday. The Wings record on the night before Thanksgiving since 1995 is a staunch 9-3. This includes a 7-3 blowout of Colorado in 2005 and a 7-1 deconstruction of Edmonton in 2003. The only game on the road was in 2001, when the Wings beat Columbus 1-0 in overtime at Nationwide Arena. I do not know who exactly scored that goal but I’ll go ahead and guess it was Fedorov. It just seems like something Fedorov would do.

I typed in "Red Wings Night before Thanksgiving" into Google Image and
I got works. Wonder who Dave Coulier spends
Thanksgiving with?

So when slappy Lion fan tells you (and he/she will) “THE LIONS ALWAYS WIN ON THANKSGIVING! DURRRR!!!!!” Stop them and say, no, the Red Wings always win the NIGHT BEFORE Thanksgiving. For the record, the Wings have only played once on Thanksgiving in recent years and that was in 2007 when they lost on the road in Nashville.

Tonight the Red Wings will fire up versus the Atlanta Thrashers. I had thought the NHL contracted the Atlanta franchise in 2004 after Dany Heatly killed Dan Snyder. So I’m excited that I’ll get to see what theyre all about.

Tomorrow I will blog about the beauty of the NFL on Thanksgiving or rather, what used to be the beauty of the NFL on Thanksgiving. You probably wont be surprised to see part two of this blog to be dripping with cynicism. Still read it anyway!

Fire R Rod!

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on November 21, 2009

Rich Rodriguez should be fired!

Did you see when Rich Rodriguez fumbled that ball in the end zone?

Did you see when Rich Rodriguez missed that chip-shot field goal?

Did you see when Michigan finally got some momentum, Rich Rodriguez, the defensive coordinator of Michigan, allowed his defense to let Ohio State march right down the field and score? Especially when they let Ohio State fool them with that screen on third down.

Did you see Rich Rodriguez throw four brutal interceptions?

Did you see Rich Rodriguez and SHOELACE Rodriguez only combine for 64 yards rushing?

Frankly Rich Rodriguez just isn’t that talented, or he simply isn’t ready yet. He looks overmatched and timid out there. But screw that! FIRE HIM!!!!!!!!!!! BLOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In all seriousness, the only thing I fault Rodriguez for in the Ohio State game would be the use of SHOELACE. He really doesn’t seem to know what to do with him and that played a big part in the squandered running game.

For the season, I can blame Rodriguez on hiring Greg Robinson. A man who was a part of a horrid program in Syracuse. He has further regressed an already troubled defense, wasting some quality talent in doing so.

Also, I have to say that the apparent regression of Tate Forcier falls on Rodriguez as well but then again, Tate was a true Freshmen. Sometimes you see true Freshmen quarterbacks ascend through the course of a season, but more times than not, they hit a wall. Forcier hit the wall hard and I am already questing his mental toughness for it.

Most of what is being put on Rodriguez, I don’t see being his fault. Rebuilding a program after tearing it down to the ground, even breaking the base, requires patience. The Michigan brass agreed to his system and they owe him at least one more year to build it back up. I think this is common sense.

But the old guard will continue their squirming discomfort and staunch discrimination against the idea of change within their football program. Bo is dead, I’m sorry, it’s true. The offensive schemes that Michigan had been stuck in for the past 40 years, would still work in principle in the stale Big 10 style of play, but it wouldn’t get them past a Capital One Bowl win against a disinterested SEC team, or 30 point beat down at the hands of USC. There needed to be a transformation, a revolution, which still could occur.

Unfortunately for Rich Rodriguez, it appears he’ll be told to go home, before he could finish the job. Hopefully in my mind, these rumors are not true.

The Michigan blue bloods want red

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on November 11, 2009

Rich Rodriguez has unfairly faced constant criticism. I don’t understand how in such a short time, hes alienated himself from a program. Despite bringing in a top 10 recruiting class, and small signs of progress being shown, Michigan fans want blood now.

They need to look at programs such as Nebraska, Miami or even Flor…..

You know what? Screw this. That whole Michigan scene can suck it right now.

I want to talk about a life changing moment. An epiphany that struck me upon discovering the existence of
THE EVIL GRIMACE. I didn’t know that there was an EVIL GRIMACE. I thought THE GRIMACE was ALWAYS the friendly “special needs” friend of Ronald McDonald.
But as you will see in this 1970 ad, EVIL GRIMACE was also special needs…

I know there was a lot of drugs done in that time but even the advertising squad for McDonalds or rather “The Man” of fast food, had to be baked out of their minds! I would like to experiment with some of the drugs necessary to envision and enact this commercial but I likely wouldn’t live through the night. I’m not off base to speculate drug use either. In 1973, the creators of Hn’R Pufnstuf, sued McDonalds for their “McDonaldsland” add, which you seen a prime example of above. It’s hard to naturally come up with the idea of a giant, fat, retarded purple “taste bud”, with googly eyes and four arms, who always needed to steal coke and get the shakes. If you do have that strong of an imagination, I admire you.

Also, I do not appreciate what a coy dick Ronald McDonald was to EVIL GRIMACE. I have no respect for his game at all. While EVIL GRIMACE did steal coke and shakes from children, he obviously had cognitive challenges, which lead to a corrupted view of social norms. EVIL GRIMACE was the victim, not the children. With how easily he could had been out smarted, Ronald had no need to exploit his ghastly appearance, and insecurities by telling him he was entered in a McDonaldsland beauty contest. If it’s that easy you back off. I liken it to how the Steelers treated the Lions with kid gloves earlier this season.

The McDonald’s corp. obviously felt some guilt from this matter. Aligning with the lawsuit they lost against the Hn’R Pufnstuf stoners, they had to change things up. EVIL GRIMACE was no more and he was changed to become Ronald McDonald’s best friend, to show that you need to help the mentally challenged, not exploit them. Also they dropped two of his arms, to give him the standard two. Which also displayed that there is no room for freaks in this world.

A benefit to the demise of the EVIL GRIMACE, was the edition of Uncle O’Grimacey, who in theory replaced the EVIL GRIMACE’s extra pair of arms. Uncle O’Grimacey appears once a year to deliver Shamrock shakes to THE GRIMACE. While I do support Uncle O’Grimacey, I do not support the goods he delivers. Shamrock shakes are gross.

What do you see, when you look at this picture?
A. The Tubby Temptress going for a refill. Six for her, one for Steve Phillips.
B. Charlie Weiss hoarding for unemployment.
C. A disgruntled Mayor McCheese.
D. A poster for the new hit family film “The Blindside: The story of Michael Oher.”
E. How Grady Jackson spent last Sunday.

It’s just too easy, maybe I should back off.

Obviously THE GRIMACE has been a topic and the show before and that is partially why he is a topic in this blog. The other reason is because you cant deny THE GRIMACE…

…because nothing can kill THE GRIMACE.

and now you find yourself in 2002…

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on November 10, 2009

Last night, Steve Yzerman, Luc Robitaille and Brett Hull were inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame. While around town, we have only heard about Yzermans induction, remember all three played on one incredible hockey team. I understand the fawning of Yzerman in the light of this moment. Yzerman rejuvenated a franchise with his two hands and a bionic knee.

But it was that 2001-02 season, where four inductees in the past two classes, were grouped together and he was the one who stood out. His riveting performance on one leg, in visible pain, carrying the Wings back from an imminent first round upset at the hands of Vancouver. He finished the playoffs with 23 points in 21 games. Yzerman was largely ineffective after the second round series against St.Louis, but he carried the weight of nine other Hall of Famers through the first two rounds.

Yes, nine other Hall of Famers; Larionov, Hull, Robitaille, Shanahan, Lidstrom, Hasek, Chelios, Fedorov and likely Datsyuk, so lets say ten. Yet, this seems to be the forgotten team. I suppose it was for lack of longevity. Really the 2008 Cup winning team has already seemed to suffer a fade in luster and will likely suffer the same relative obscurity.

Nineteen-Ninety-Seven was the first Stanley Cup in 42 years, they won back to back, there was emotion and adversity with the Fedorov hold-out and Konstinov accident. All seems to point towards the back to back cups as being the forever titles. But the bottom line is an assembly of such supreme talent is rare. We didn’t see such an assembly in any other team than 2002. The 01-02 Red Wings would smoke the back to back cup teams, trust me, I know, I have played out this match-up on NHL 2K9 several times.

I am just asking talent to be appreciated. That team finished the regular season 51-17-10, a dominating total of 116 points. But they did not make it boring. Of course there was the aforementioned hiccup against Vancouver in the first round. Detroit fell behind in the series 0-2 and it took a freak center ice goal from Lidstrom (or rather the ineptitude of Dan Cloutier) for Detroit to save themselves.

They played back to back hard fought series against St. Louis and Colorado, both fine teams that season. The series against the Blues seen Chris Pronger injure himself, trying to take out the wounded Yzerman, which is still one of my all-time favorite hockey moments.

The first six games of the 2002 Western Conference was the best display of playoff hockey I had ever seen. The two teams went toe to toe, trading what looked like knock out blow after knock out blow. It wasn’t until a surprise Yzerman goal in game six, paired with another oddly effective Darren McCarty performance, that got the Wings game six in Colorado while facing elimination. Game 7 ended the Avalanche run as a contender and Patrick Roy’s career. Completing the circle of the Red Wings-Avalanche rivalry, that for a time, was the best in sports.

Then how about in the Stanley Cup finals? So many people pass that series off as forgettable, but if you don’t remember some key moments of that series, then you simply weren’t paying attention in the first place.

Game 3 of that series was simply put, one of the best Stanley Cup finals games ever. It sea-sawed back and forth. The Wings had to score with a minute left in the third, on a controversial power play to send it into overtime. Fallowing a couple hit posts and tremendous saves from Irbe and Hasek it eventually went into a sixth period. Larionov got a great break on a pick set by Dandendault and floated a backhand up over Irbe to end it. This game seems lost in time. Despite had the Wings lost, they would had been down 2 to 1, with two more games to play in Carolina. It was a beautiful, clutch goal, in a gut wrenchingly important game, yet it seems overshadowed by Kris Drapper scoring in early overtime of game two in the ‘98 finals.

Who got the Conn Smythe? It somehow was not Yzerman who lead the team in points on one leg. It somehow wasn’t Hull who lead the team in goals. It somehow wasn’t Hasek who set a record for playoff shut outs with seven. It was Lidstrom who lead the team in ice time, plus-minus, while adding 16 points and only taking one penalty. This was a largely debatable decision rooted in the depth of this team.

So my plea is to take this time and remember not just Yzerman, but that entire 2001-2002 team. Every player, from Sean Avery and Jiri Slegr to Sergie Fedorov and Uwe Krupp. They were an interesting roster, just aside from the all the Hall of Fame talent.

It was for all intents and purposes, a rented team. There was a core from ’98 there but the big guns were brought in to make sure the deed would be done. Maybe that is why this team has been swept under the bed. This is a “blue collar town” and that was a “white collar team”. The Red Wings were doing their best Yankees impersonation that season, and like for the Yankees this season, it worked then.

As I was impressed with this seasons Yankees team, I will forever be impressed with the 01-02 Red Wings and will hold them in high reverie. Three players from one Hall of Fame class playing on the same team, was a true privilege to watch. Just hope you knew what you were watching.

Yanking the Yankees

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on November 6, 2009

I am taking this time announce some new things going on with The Real Deal on Sports.

There will be dedication to blogging. Im really the only one out of the three of us who has time to blog so because of this, we get a little lax on it. Understand, I am like the Rasheed Wallace of this operation. I have a lot of skill and talent but I’m lazy. Not because I am busy getting high all day but yeah, I get behind. That will end though as I plan to rededicate myself.

A complete overhaul of the website is currently underway. We stepped back and realized that we could do better. Were setting up a new, more interactive website with a better design that is easier to navigate. We are going to have weekly features and contributions from Neal, Mike and I every week. Also we plan on adding polls, videos and are working on a drop board.

I cannot not put a date on when the new site will launch but it will be soon. Until then thank you for the continued support, you don’t even have an idea how much it’s appreciated from all three of us.

So how about that rededication to blogging?

Well how about the Yankees?

In theory I hate the Yankees as much as anyone else. Doesn’t Mark Teixeira just look off to you? He kinda has jowls or at least will have Nixonesque jowls before he kicks it. I think hes a little cross eyed too. This guy just looks like a douche that drives an oversized truck and will hit on your girlfriend right in front of you. His stupid fucking name also breaks the “ i before e rule” twice. Thanks for forcing me to repeatedly having to check the spelling on your name!

Then there’s Cream Cheese Sabathia who if he were younger I would be convinced that he is the abandoned love child of David Wells and fat Star Jones. Hey in this hypothetical, David Wells wouldn’t be the first pro athlete to hit that sweet, sweet ass!

Arod the Centaur. We know why we hate this guy. Really I hate him because Kate Hudson has never done it for me. So in a way I’m glad she’s in bed with…….that.

But seriously, lets look at it rationally. All three players that I just mentioned are future hall of famers. Along with Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter, Hideki Matsui, Andy Pettitte and also tack onto that the possibility of Robinson Cano in time, who has hall of fame potential. In that sense I appreciate what the Yankees were able to do. That I got to see a team with a masterful assembly of talent live out their potential. (Saying that, it is funnier to see the Yankees choke).

When it’s all said and done, I can say I seen CC Sabathia rumble and tumble his way to a ring. Arod, who roids or not, I see as the greatest player of this generation, finally stepped up and got his ring. Matsui made history being the first Japanese player to win a World Series MVP. Derek Jeter did it again, continuing one of the most accomplished careers history will ever see. Speaking of doing it again, Mariano Rivera showed that he somehow still has something in the tank and was as dominant as ever this season. Rivera still wears 42, that’s how long this cat has been getting it done!

There isn’t much integrity behind how the Yankees brought this collection of players together. Still I respect and appreciate the hell out of them and what they accomplished this year. Yes, they bought Sabathia, Teixeira and have been able to afford the multitude of talent they have when every team, save for Boston, the Angels, Dodgers and Mets, cannot. Ultimately, they got it done though and those teams were not able to. Major League Baseball and how it is set up, doesn’t always favor the most talented team. It takes depth that was drafted, or a cheaper player like Nick Swisher to contribute and pull it all together.

I could argue that there needs to be more revenue sharing among teams. Maybe baseball should get a salary cap. But that would just wipe out another World Series and the latter would further wreck the Tigers and all the dead money they have. Well, either way the Tigers seem wrecked!(get ready for Polanco to sign with the Twins!)

Things are not going to change anytime soon. So in this case it is best to take a perspective of all the Yankees talent. Also remember all the years they have choked. With their age, and a surprising amount of unsold seats in new Yankee Stadium this season, expect some turnover. Swisher, Damon and Matsui are expected to be gone. Don’t act like this will be a dynasty or the end of the baseball world.

Remember, I’m not a Yankees fan, but I am a baseball fan. The Yankees assembled some of the best baseball players of this generation, and instead of losing to the Twins, they made history. No matter how much you call foul on their tactics, they won a ring and you cannot take that away.

The NFL is not good.

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on October 23, 2009

First things first, I want to apologize for taking a hiatus from blogging. I know it bummed you all out soooooo much.

But you have to understand that the Tigers took a vast emotional toll out of me. Seriously, I haven’t had much will to do anything. I have been floating in space. A drift of what could have been, slowly collecting the remnants of what’s left of my fanatical psyche.

So what does this rolling stone have left in the tank for you fine folks?

An opinion on the NFL and how it is an absolute garbage league.

I could leave it at that, really it could be that simple. The NFL isn’t worth much of my time anymore. I watch because I carry a fantasy team like most average males age 18 to 35 and because it’s my job to give some sort of analysis, or whatever analysis I can give to 6 to 3 score.

Covering the NFL is the equivalent to the prototypical 9 to 5 cubicle job to the average American. You hate it, it drains you, depresses you but you have to do it to put food on the table. The 9 dollars an hour I make doesn’t put more than Taco Bell in my belly but I am aware that if I want to make more money some day, I will have to go deep into the NFL. Because that is what you drones want.

The disgusting thing is that this is what we are fed and apparently enjoy. Revenue for the league is up again, as usual. Roger Godell has done an average job running a pathetic product. Thankfully for him, he inherited a league that has a license to print money, just in advertising alone. Attendance may be dropping around the league but why should the commissioner care when the Superbowl alone brings in more dollars than the average NHL franchise does in an entire season.

How often will you see Ladanian Thomilsons washed up self, on a Campbell’s commercial or a Vizio add? How about Stephen Jackson, the catalyst for a one win team, tearing up the field in a 30 spot for Nike? Now Donna McNabb is selling her soul to IHOP.

Yes, the NFL has bonified superstars. You cannot deny Adrian Petterson, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, James Harrison and uhhhh ehhhh…..Brett Favre.

But there are few legitimate players in this league that are sincerely captivating. As much as I enjoy watching Troy Polumalu when he plays, he hasn’t been playing often. He seems to be injured a lot lately. Part of being good is the ability to stay healthy.

Am I supposed to buy Shawne Merriman? The man who has been busted for steroids and won defensive player of the year in the same season. Also, injury prone as well. He was injured all last season but instead of spending time with his team, he kept occupied as an analyst for Fox Sports Net. Wow, what a shining example for the league! He did have roid rage on Tila Tequila. You do have give him credit for that.

Then there’s Tony Romo. I love that I got to see Dallas in all their mediocrity on television, five out of the first six weeks this season. That is due in part to Romo’s philandering with famous ditsy blondes, which were probably arranged relationships by Jerry Jones anyways. Seriously, Romo is a joke. He is by far the most overrated player in football, his numbers will tell you that. The hilarity of his playoff performances have allowed you to bare witness to this. Yet because of who he’s dating and the 9-7 franchise he plays for, with their new billion dollar stadium that I’m convinced is a sign of the apocalypse (2012 y’all!), I’m reduced to watching them play Carolina at 430 every week.

Oh sweet Carolina, you remind me of so much more that’s wrong with this league. The actual on field product is nearly unwatchable. St. Louis, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Tennessee, Washington, Cleveland and Oakland. This league is so bad, some how the aforementioned Carolina and Oakland have multiple wins. Maybe because Carolina gets match-ups against other horrible teams. Or there is Washington who has yet to play a team with a win this season.

We also have to hear about THE WILDCAT. A gimmick offense, which is basically a HB direct snap, that feasts on the poor tackling in the NFL. NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO TACKLE ANYMORE. IT’S LIKE THE LIONS INFECTED THE LEAGUE AND IT’S H1N1-esque PANDEMIC! ESPN exploits this garbage and tabs the 2-3 Dolphins as the most exciting team in the league because of it. Yes, a team with Chad Henne, a back-up quarterback, who has made a living hitting the back of Jake Long’s helmet more than receivers, is the leader of the most exciting team in football. THE WILDCAT!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!

We heard non-stop about Jay Cutler and Michael Vick in the off-season, like they were good players or something. Jay Cutler is closer to replacing Wilford Brimley than going to the Pro-Bowl, certainly the playoffs. Vick, as I predicted, has made a small impact. He didn’t play football for two seasons, that can hinder you just a tad. On top of that, Philly obviously has pride in having the lone female quarterback in the league with McNabb, and I guess Kevin Kolb is….a….uh….yeah he’s a quarterback. But lets face it, we get hour long SportsCenter specials on both these transactions, when both will ultimately be irrelevant. I would rather see a “SportsCenter Special” on the return of Coy Detmer because I have a feeling the Andy Reid will give him more snaps than Vick in the next couple years.

Every Sunday, Monday and occasional Thursday you buy in though. You gather your friends, place your bets, set your fantasy roster and drink your Bud/Miller Light. You waste 10 hours of your Sunday because the television and corporate America told you to. Watch if you want. Maybe somehow you find match-ups other than Colts vs. Patriots entertaining. Even the Giants vs. Saints was a joke.

But I don’t find it entertaining, I find it brutal. Yet, I’m going to Rams vs. Lions. Not because I’m a hypocrite, more because my friends wanted to go and I haven’t been to a game in over a year. Also, it is the epitome of my point. Watching this game in person will allow me to revel in self-aggrandizing glory.

When the Lions win 12 to 10, tell me that I’m wrong about where this league is at and where you should be at; Not in front of your TV screen on Sunday watching the NFL. But you know you will be.

Yes, it does matter.

Posted in 1 by kylebauerrdos on October 7, 2009

I know it’s just a game, I know.
I know the sun will rise tomorrow, I know.
I know I still have my loved ones, I know.
I know that I still have my health, I know.
I know they don’t care or know about me, I know.

I’m not stupid, so don’t talk down to me like I’m stupid because the Tigers losing puts me in so much pain. Don’t accuse me of being out of perspective, and not realizing that what Iran does with their nuclear weapons may impact me more. I know you read the New York Times, well I read too, not the New York Times but other reputable publications. Mr. or Ms. intellectual, as you scoff at those who are upset about a “silly baseball game” realize that for some people, sports is deeper than a box score or a bandwagon cheer.

The raw emotion in sports has always intrigued me. Ups and downs come in seasons, in games, in minutes, in seconds. Especially in the six to seven month grind of baseball. We have seen it many times this year. I have often described the Tigers as a bi-polar team with bi-polar fans. All the waffle jokes. That’s what sports will do. A simple catch, or contact of ball and bat could sink or save a city, at least for one night. Not in a literal sense of course but in an emotional context and that is the point.

If you want to know why sports means so much, look at the closing of Tiger Stadium, then it’s slow painful death. All the people with tears in their eyes and cameras in hand, the night it closed. Those cameras were there because people never fully want to let go, they always wanted to look back at something they had. When the stadium decayed, controversy and uproar clouded our minds. We didn’t want to see this place fall apart, but we didn’t want to see it completely demolished either.

Tiger Stadium become a loved one on life support. The battle between two sides of the family. One wanting to pull the plug and end the misery, the other not feeling closure yet, while holding out some sort of hope for recovery.

This is what sports is. Sports becomes a part of you. Your favorite team, a part of your family. How? Have your dad take you to around 10 Tigers games a year since you’ve been three years old. Grow up watching every game with him as he explains the rules and who is good. You are conditioned. It is ingrained in you. At some point in your life you will decide on whether or not it will mean this much to you, but that emotional connection was made with me. When Tiger Stadium closed, then crumbled that was mine and millions of other peoples childhood crumbling with it. That is where they were raised, that is where I was raised.

Sports is tradition. Sports is family. Sports is akin to your art, music, literature, movies. It’s all relative. It’s all relevent.

So when I see the team that played in Tiger Stadium, that I grew up watching and cheering for hopelessly with my father, as far back as I can remember, blow away a rare good season, it’s going to make me upset. I shouldn’t have to apologize for that. If I had gotten a call during tonight’s game, that my sick grandmother was back in the hospital, I would have put the game in the back of my mind and I would had been there with her. Ultimately I know what’s more important, you don’t need to turn your nose up and tell me that.

You also don’t need to tell me that there will be next year. In baseball only four teams make the playoffs. The Tigers have gone 19 years and even longer stretches without making the postseason. When you hang with a team, making a pennant run, that falls short, there’s no guarantee that excitement will be there in the near future. All that emotional back and forth, for six months is all for not. That’s the beauty and disgrace of Major League Baseball, it’s so exciting to be one of those four teams, but so painful and easy not to be. Especially when you have to play 163 games plus an extra four innings.

If the Tigers hadn’t pulled one of their standard choke jobs and won, would things be different? In the grand scheme of things, no. But it would had been different for me and a couple million other people. We would have had something to smile about, a t-shirt or hat to buy, positive stories to tell and drinks to be drunk. Instead we are in despair and there is now nothing to smile about but there are still drinks to be drunk. Is that our fault? Probably. But does that mean this matters? Certainly.

If this didn’t matter, the same people who are ripping on those poor distraught souls tonight, wouldn’t be the first ones at the water cooler talking about Cabrera or skipping work for the parade. At least majority of us crazy fans have integrity. It matters to us all the time, win or lose. Many of you who find it ultimately meaningless, will usually ride that bandwagon because you, yourself are looking for a positive attraction, something to fit in and cling to.

You can deny it but I seen you three years ago, and I heard you 11 years ago. You cant fool me.

So keep saying it doesn’t matter. Keep telling me that I’m overreacting, I know. Magglio Ordonez wont cause world peace but for a short time he can carry a city on his back and you are part of the weight. That’s something to look up to and that is something you should know.